The 10 Best Homework Excuses
1. I got my backpack stolen: use rampant crime among high school students to your advantage. No teacher in his right mind would expect you to turn in that big assignment if it got stolen the very day it was due. Although most teachers won't follow through, filing a missing backpack report might not be a bad idea.
2. My mom and dad got in a huge fight last night and the cops came and I couldn't concentrate on the assignment: Domestic violence isn't something to lie about...unless it's done to save your grade. This excuse works on so many levels: (1) Your teacher will never bring this up to your parents; and (2) you will garner sympathy for the rest of the year. The only way this could go wrong is if your teacher reports this to your guidance counselor and your counselor contacts your parents. That's probably not going to happen.
3. I stayed at my dad's this weekend and left it there and my mom refuses to let me go back and get it: Teachers are suckers for dysfunctional family stories. This is an all time classic.
4. I left my binder in my mom's car and she's at work across town: This is a twist on the easy to see through "I left it at home" excuse. A teacher can reasonably expect someone from home to bring your homework, but not even the meanest teacher would expect your mom to leave work.
5. I was really sick yesterday and unable to do anything. The only reason I came is because I didn't want to miss any more work: Teachers will admire your perseverance and give you the extra day.
6. It's that "time of the month": If you're a boy, don't try this. This only works for females on male teachers.
7. Grandma died: Even if the teacher doubts the veracity of your grandma's death, he's not gonna call you out on it just in case it's true. There are obvious problems with this excuse, including the guilt you'll feel if your grandma does die that week.
8. My dog died and I was too upset to do my homework: This is rarely used, but effective, especially if your teacher has a dog. Only a heartless task master would not cut you a break over losing your best friend.
9. I had to take care of my baby sister who was up last night throwing up: Another underused classic. Be careful your teacher isn't an e-mailer or he just might e-mail your parents for an update on your baby sister who doesn't exist.
10. Tell the truth: This is a revolutionary excuse. Often if you just go to your teacher in the morning and tell him or her the truth, you'll get some additional time.
What's your favorite homework excuse?
Swarms of kids line the beaches soaking up the last few rays of the summer sun; parents seem to be in a good mood for once, and the checkout lines at Wal-Mart rival the lines at Olympic sporting events. This can only mean one thing – school is almost in session. Getting back into the swing of things is hard to do, so I’m giving you a free pass. If for some reason you get behind on your homework (which we all know would never happen, right?), I give you permission to use one of these 25 creative excuses for not turning in your homework. Your dog will thank you for not blaming him yet again. Happy learning!
I thought it was a letter and accidentally mailed it to my Grandma Maude overseas.
Aliens took it as a sample of human handwriting.
Buffalo Bill from “The Silence of the Lambs” mistook it for a piece of human flesh and stole it to add to his collection.
I let somebody copy it and they never gave it back.
Doctor Who needed my help to save the human race and a dalek exterminated it just before I re-entered the TARDIS.
It spontaneously combusted and vaporized.
The FBI confiscated it because they claimed it was vital evidence.
I was pet-sitting Mike Tyson’s tiger and it escaped from my bathroom and ate my homework.
I gave it to a homeless man to help him insulate his cardboard box.
Kanye West ripped it up because he thought Beyonce’s homework was better.
Katie Holmes mistook it for one of her divorce papers and signed a hole right through it.
My little sister wanted to prove she could shoot an arrow as well as Katniss Everdeen and decided to use my homework as the target.
My pen ran out of ink so I decided to go buy another one. I got lost on the way back and was eventually taken home by a tourist who fortunately had a map. When I tried the pen though, it was a dud and I couldn’t go buy another one or I would probably never get home.
I found the assignment to be uninspiring, so I read a book about the life of Mother Teresa instead.
I got mugged on the way home.
We ran out of toilet paper last night…
My friend made a paper airplane out of it and it landed on the roof.
I went to London on vacation and the Queen threatened to cut off my head if I didn’t give her my homework.
My dad ripped it to shreds when Mitt Romney announced his vice presidential running mate.
I got soap in my eyes and went blind until just now.
I have a solar-powered calculator and it was cloudy.
I didn’t want to add to my teacher’s heavy workload.
Terrorists kidnapped me and they just let me go, so I didn’t have time to do it.
Usain Bolt sprinted past me, causing a sudden gust of wind that propelled the assignment from my hand.
V thought it was so well written, he decided to use it as propaganda for his revolution.